


patience

by canniballistics



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-15
Updated: 2014-06-15
Packaged: 2018-02-04 20:04:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1791526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/canniballistics/pseuds/canniballistics
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He can wait for Bucky to smile again, knows it'll be worth it when he does.</p><p> </p><p>set after The Winter Soldier.</p>
            </blockquote>





	patience

**Author's Note:**

  * For [starkly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/starkly/gifts).



> written for [ironized](http://ironized.tumblr.com) in response to a meme on tumblr.

"Steve! Hey pal, you with me? C'mon—"

The voice echoes hollowly, and there's a low groan when he finally opens his eyes. Bucky's face is blurry, and until his features arrange themselves properly, he doesn't look exactly like himself. The sky behind him is too bright, almost blinding; it takes almost a full minute before shapes and colors settle into place to make some semblance of an environment. Bucky smiles down at him, though the worry is clear across his face.

" _There_ you are. Had me worried for a second. Here, grab my hand. I'll help you up."

His grip is firm, strong when he grasps Steve's hand, and once he's upright, Steve wobbles just a little, unsteady on his feet. Bucky catches him, though, and Steve can't help feeling grateful for that, knows he can always count on Bucky when he's not quite steady. His mouth feels dry, and it takes him a second to feel right in his skin. "Buck? What's going on?"

"You got into another fight, y'punk." Bucky pretends he's not too worried as he dusts Steve off, pulling the cuff of his sleeve over his hand to wipe it across his cheek. The fabric comes away a flaky red, but he's quick to hide it, _almost_ convincing as he innocuously rolls his sleeves up. "You're lucky I found you before those bullies came back. I can't imagine your mug getting any uglier."

It's a light tease, but it brings a smile to Steve's face. (He's just gonna ignore the twinge of pain when he does it.) "My knight in shining armor," he jokes, and they make their way from behind the school dumpster quickly.

The next time he sees Bucky, he's managed to get onto the apartment building's fire escape without getting in trouble, has a spare blanket spread out and is watching the sky. It's closing in on nine at night, but Bucky finds him anyway, plants himself right down on the blanket next to him.

"Gramma's worried about you, y'know."

Steve lets out a quiet breath. "Sorry. I just...had to get away for a while."

There's an understanding nod. "I get that."

They sit in amicable silence after that, and even if it's hard to see any stars, Steve can feel himself relaxing with Bucky next to him. Not completely relaxed, but it's easier, and after a stretch, he speaks without looking over at him. "Where d'you think we go when we die?"

He knows Bucky's looking at him, can picture the frown on his face. There's a deep sigh as Bucky shifts. "So that's what you've been thinking about." Steve doesn't say anything, and Bucky just shrugs in response. "I dunno. Guess it depends on what your life was like before you died. If you were living good and didn't harm nobody, it'll probably be more of the same. If you were in a crap situation, maybe you do go to a better place. And if you were a real swell but didn't share none of that around, then maybe it's someplace awful." It's as much of an answer as a non-answer, but Bucky nudges his shoulder gently. "I'm sure your pa's in a way better place, Steve."

"I know. I just wish I coulda met him…before. Y'know?" His voice is quiet, bordering on inaudible, and for a second, he wonders if Bucky heard him. Knows that he wouldn't be able to repeat himself if he hadn't.

"Yeah, I know. Trust me, though, he must'a been a pretty great guy for you to be his kid. Wherever he is, he's gotta be proud of you."

Both boys are quiet for a few more minutes, both of them pretending that Steve doesn't feel like crying. He lets out a short laugh instead, shoving Bucky away. "Wow, can you _get_ any cornier? Where'd that come from, one of your gramma's dime novels?"

The scandalized look on Bucky's face brings a smile to Steve's, and they wrestle as the metal underneath them creaks threateningly. The light comes on through the window behind them, and they both freeze when Bucky's grandmother shouts at them to get back into bed. The boys scramble to listen, and once they're both settled under their blankets with the window closed, she turns out the light and closes the door. It's silent for a few minutes, waiting to make sure she's gone back to bed, and then Bucky shifts to look over at him.

"Don't worry about it so much. Your dad's keeping an eye on you from wherever he is, but since he's not here to do it right, I'll take care of you in his place." A wide grin. "I swear it, Steve. Not even death's gonna stop me."

Steve jolts upright in his bed, chest heaving and sweat beading on his skin. He looks around wildly before he even realizes what he's searching for, and when his eyes alight on Bucky's still sleeping form across the room, he relaxes just a little bit. Adrenaline is still coursing through his veins, but he doesn't want to make too much noise and wake him. Steve lets out a deep breath, rubbing his hands over his face as he wills himself to calm down.

When he closes his eyes, he can see a younger Bucky's face again, that wide, carefree smile. His heart hurts for thinking about it, but he wouldn't trade the memory for the world. Another glance over at him, at the stubble on his cheeks and the way his hand is tucked under the pillow, fingers curled tight around the handle of a knife Steve can't see but knows is there. Steve draws his knees up to his chest, pillows his arms on top of them and his cheek on top of those. Quiet as he watches him, and his heart starts to slow down.

He doesn't know if Bucky will ever smile like that again, especially after all that's happened. There's too much there, too much pain and sadness. Maybe someday in the future it'll happen. For right now, though, he's just grateful that Bucky's back, and Steve's more than happy to be the one to help him out this time.


End file.
